


Blonde Girls

by TheGhostOfMe



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Eva and Vilde are just friends, F/F, Vilde is a lesbian, also noora should have had better, anyway, because I mean isn't that canon, it was totally not, it wasn't like it was queerbaiting, nope - Freeform, vilde is a little more aware but it's been a year so i hope it's not to ooc, william was an asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-09 21:34:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11677533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGhostOfMe/pseuds/TheGhostOfMe
Summary: Vilde and Magnus stayed together until the summer before university when they had sat down and talked about it. They decided to break up because they wanted to go into this new stage of their lives alone. And if they were meant to be they would find their way back together.They didn't because things happen and people become more honest with themselves.





	1. Green Sheets

Vilde and Magnus stayed together until the summer before university when they had sat down and talked about it. They decided to break up because they wanted to go into this new stage of their lives alone. And if they were meant to be they would find their way back together. 

 

Magnus told Isak a few days after they had broken up when he was drunk off his ass that he knew they would never get back together.  _“I love her bro. And I will always be there for her but-but I don’t think we’re right you know. I don’t think we’re soulmates like you and Even bro.”_ He had broken down crying at that point and Isak had wished he was at home with Even fast asleep and not dealing with his  friend’s heartbroken drunkenness  but he hugged Magnus and told him _“Everything is going to be okay Mags, let’s get you home.”_

 

Vilde had spent the night of Magnus’ heartbroken crying lying in a girl’s bed. She had gone to a bar alone because she was sad. Her mother had just lost her job again and she felt like she had no one to tell now that Magnus and her had broken up. She knew that no matter what Magnus would have dropped everything is she had asked. But she didn’t want to see him yet. It was to new. So she had gotten drunk at a bar she couldn’t remember the name of and had let a pretty blonde girl hit on her. They had ended up making out against the hard wall. And when Vilde had almost passed out the bl onde girl had taken her home. 

Vilde had woken up in a bed with green sheets and to many pillows. Fear had run through her because she didn’t remember what happened but then a blonde girl was walking in with breakfast and coffee. And the fear had doubled. 

A panic attack started to hold her in its hands, holding her lungs tight and pushing on her heart. But then a voice. A very calm voice started talking telling her what happened. _ “My name is Sofie and we did not have sex, I promise you were far to drunk to say yes. The reason you are in my room and not your own is well because I have no idea w _ _h_ _ere you live and you were to drunk last night to tell me. I could_ _not_ _leave you at the bar_ _so_ _I brought you here. I slept on the couch._ _I have breakfast for you and some coffee and painkillers for the headache.”_ The panic started to leave Vilde. She nodded and thanked Sofie, Sofie s at  with her well she ate the breakfast, it was eggs and toast. Sofie said  _“_ _I’m didn’t know if you ate meat so I didn’t make bacon.”_ Vilde stayed for a little while after the breakfast and when she left Sofie slipped a piece of paper with her number into Vilde’s hand. Vilde went home  and tried to be normal again but something felt different. 

 

Vilde didn’t  called Sofie instead she started school,  spend time with her friends and tried to not think about the nagging feeling that would not leave her alone. She felt like she was lyin g to everyone. But what scared her more was that it felt like she was lying to herself as well. She spent her nights staring at the ceiling, she had kissed girls before hell she had been making out with Eva since she was sixteen. She had tried to not think about it back then and then she dated Magnus and she stopped kissing Eva. But fuck did she want to sometimes.

She was sitting alone at a bench outside waiting for Sana to get out of her Bio class. All the girl squad but Eva had ended up going University of Oslo. _“I need to find myself, I have no fucking clue what I want to do.”_

Sana came out with Isak walking beside her. Sana had let out a laugh at something Isak had said and then they stopped before her. They both said hello and  Vilde wondered why Isak was not leaving to go make out with Even somewhere hidden from the rest of the world. But he stood with them listening to them talk. And when Sana left to go to her next class Isak sat down beside her. He stared off into nothing. And then he said _“Are you doing okay?”_

Vilde had always thought that Isak didn’t really care about her. That she was just Sana, Noora, and Eva’s annoying friend and Magnus’ annnoying ex but he had asked her if she was okay. And in that moment with the wind blew into their bones and the sky bright blue she wanted to tell him about the thoughts that would not leave her alone. The fear that was held her in it’s arms. 

_“I’m fine, thank-you for asking.”_ But that was all she could say because she didn’t know how to get those words out yet.

_“Okay I’m glad. I have to go but see you later.”_ And then he was gone. And she sat alone with the wind settling in her bones. That night she went to Eva’s because she needed to get out of her house and Eva’s place was always warm and felt like a home and Eva was always alone there. She climbed through the window and found Eva asleep on her bed. Vilde climbed in and Eva rolled over so she was almost lying on top of Vilde. Vilde had to remind herself to breath with Eva this close to her. She fell asleep quicker then was normal for her lately.

When woke up Eva had made breakfast and it felt like the morning she woke up in Sofie’s bed. She still had her number tucked in her coat pocket. _ “Everything okay Vilde?”  _

_“Everything is fine.”_ Vilde wondered how many more times she could say it before it started to be more true. That night she called Sofie. 

_“Halla.”_

_ “Um.. Hi this is  Vilde you helped when I was drunk.”  _

_ “Oh  Vilde I remember. I thought you would call sooner.”  _

_“I’m sorry I got busy with school.”_

_“It’s okay I’m really glad you called.”_

_“Really?_

_“Really. What can I say I have a thing for drunk messes.”_

_“You would like my friend Eva.”_

_“Haha. Would you like to get coffee?”_

_“Like a date?”_

_ “If you want but it  can be as just friends.” _

_“Can be as just friends?”_

_ “Of course  Vilde I would love to be friends with you.”  _ Vilde had let out a sigh. She was ready to call her but she knew that she couldn’t handle more than that. Vilde had wondered if she would ever want more with someone  like Sofie; someone who didn’t have a dick. They  talked for a few minutes and then they hung up with Sofie’s last words ringing in Vilde’s ears. _ “I’m glad you called Vilde. See you soon, bye.”  _

 

Vilde hadn’t known what to wear everything was to tight, to lose, to pink, to old person looking. Finally she decided on a pink skirt and white shirt with her white converse and her jacket with the roses on it. She had left her hair down it blew in the wind as she walked to the café by school. Vilde wondered what would her friends say knowing she met with a girl she had made out at a bar and then slept in said girl’s bed. She pushed those thoughts away her friends would never know. 

When she got there she say Sofie sitting at one of the tables, her shoulder length hair pulled into two short pigtails. Vilde thought she looked like a fairy sitting there with her olive-green shirt making her eyes look more blue then they really were. Vilde opened the door and stepped it.

_ “You look so nice Vilde.”  _

_“Thank-you.”_

_ “So do you want to get a drink? I haven’t gotten one yet because I hate when you are waiting for someone and then you get your drink and they have to stand alone. _

_“Yeah let’s get a drink. I hope you weren’t waiting to long?”_

_“No you were perfectly on_ _time. I am always early to things it drives everyone I know batty.”_ They ordered their drinks and sat down Vilde had thought it would be awkward what was she going to say to her? But then it wasn’t awkward and that scared her more than if it had been. 

*

_“I want to help people. My friend says it’s a basic thing to say but I mean she is becoming a doctor so by that logic both of us are really basic. And anyway what is wrong with being basic?”_

_ “Nothing  Vilde, and there is nothing basic about wanting to be a nurse. I think you would do amazing in it. Plus helping people is a pretty good reason to do something.” _

_ “I have a friend of a friend that is becoming a nurse now and she has talked to me about everything and I don’t all the courses I will be taking soon sound so interesting and I am looking forward to when I can get a job and I mean a better job then what I do at the Cafe I work at now. Not that I don’t like that job but I want something that is more of a career.” _

_“Do you still live with your parents?”_

_ “I live with my mamma, I never really had a  pappa I don’t even really think mamma knows who he is.”  _

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“It’s not your fault, I don’t really think it is anyone’s fault. Life is just really fucking unfair sometimes.”_

*

_ “I want to be a painter. I want to create something that will change someone. I want someone to look at something I painted and feel different after.”  _

_ “You want  to be remembered?” _

_ “No I don’t care if I am  rememeber _ _ed_ _I just want to make a mark on people’s life. I want to make someone_ _feel different whether they remember my name or not means nothing to me.”_

_*_

Vilde didn’t want to put her foot in her mouth like Sana tells her often does. But she is Vilde that’s who she is.  _“_ _What are you?”_

_“Well I am human.”_

_ “No I mean what do you identify as?”  _ Vilde felt a blush rise to her cheeks but Sofie had just smiled and answered the question.

_ “I identify as queer.”  _

_“I thought that was a slur.”_

_“It has been reclaimed. My friend said it is like taking the power back in a word, not letting other use it against you but using it for yourself.”_

_“What does it mean though?”_

_“Well for me it means that I_ _ like some with a vagina but I can also like dicks and anything in between.  _ _Personality is also very important we always seem to forget about that one._ _”_

_“So like bi?”_

_"Kind of it's similar but like I prefer the term queer because it feels right to me. Queer means something different for everyone though."_

_“It sounds very vague to me.”_

_“I think that is the point. You get to decide what it means because you don’_ _ t fit in or don’t want to fit in with the ones that we are given to identify within.”  _

_“So you don’t want to label yourself?”_

_ “No whatever you say is labeling yourself. Whether you say I’m a lesbian or I like people you are labeling yourself it’s the same thing with a little difference. I am labeling myself with the term queer but there is nothing wrong with labels when we give them to ourself when we use them to help know who we are because sometimes we don’t know and doing that to ourselves putting ourselves in that box helps us know things about ourselves.” _

_“What if labels scare us?”_

_ “That’s okay too we don’t need to think about our labels, they  can be scary because they are a part of ourselves that we sometimes we hide even from ourselves.  _ _ It can take time to be okay with things sometimes we are never okay with it but I don’t think that will happen.”  _

_“Why?”_

_“Because the world is waiting and I think_ _we_ _get tired of hiding.”_ Sofie promised to call Vilde soon. Vilde went home feeling like the world was spinning faster than before. 

 

Vilde liked parties. She had always liked parties they were a time to get drunk and have fun with your friends but today she was to tired she had only came because she knew she had to Eva was hosting and if she didn’t she would feel like she had let her down. So she stood on the outskirts of the room, she watched the party people dancing, people drinking and for the first time it bored her.

She felt someone tap her arm, she turned her head to face Even his hair flat and with a beer in his hand. Anne Fossbakken had once told her that it was not good to drink when you have bipolar. She wondered if Even knew that.  _“Hey Even. I thought you weren’t suppose to drink?”_ Vilde had always thought Even smiled at her too much at first she had thought it was because he had a crush on her but then she had learned that he was very in love with Isak so she could not figure it out.

_“_ _I really shouldn’t but I guess sometimes it feels like it’s important to break the rules. To not let anything rule my life.”_

_“Do you let it rule your life?”_

_ “I used to. I used to drink and smoke because I didn’t want to have bipolar and I was lying to myself, lying that I was ‘normal’ to myself. And then for a while I stopped drinking and smoking all together and that was fine but I realized it was controlling me again. So I decided that I will drink a little but not too much and that if I really want to smoke if I have a reason to I will. I will not let it limit me or push me.” _

_ “You want  to be free from your illness?" _

_ “No I will never be free of it, it is a part of me just like anything else I just don’t want it  to be the only reason I do something or don’t do something.”  _ Vilde had nodded but she didn’t really understand what he meant until later in her life. 

 

At some point of the night Magnus popped up beside her, her was drunk he was hardly standing.  _ “Hi Vilde. How are you? I think we should see each other more I don’t want to lose you after this break up.”  _The break up at been over three months ago but has she had stood there with an armful of Magnus because he had fallen over she realized that she missed him more then she thought she would when they had broken up.

But then a very annoyed sober Isak was walking over and he almost had to l i ft Magnus out of her arms he seemed to have fallen asleep. _ “Hei Vilde.”  _

_“Halla Isak.”_

_ “Sorry about Magnus I was supposed to be watching him but I may have caught up doing something else.”  _ Vilde thought he had probably been making out with Even.  _“I was actually hoping to see you I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee some time?”_ Vilde didn’t know what to say Isak Valtersen had asked if she want to get coffee sometime but Isak didn’t even like her.

_“Why?”_ Isak smiled at her, it almost looked like his face was breaking in half.

_“Because I like coffee.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“Great, I’ll text you.”_ And he was gone. Vilde was lost. 

*

  _“Why did you want to get coffee?”_

_“I told you I like coffee and because Eva may have asked me to.”_ That took her of guard why would her friend ask someone she didn’t know that well to talk to her? She didn’t learn until later that Isak was lying to her Eva had talked to him but never asked for him to talk to her.

_“What? Why?”_

_ “I think she  is worried about you. She told me you sleep at her’s a lot.”  _

_“Yeah so?”_

_“She also said you looked really tired.”_

_“School’s hard, I have homework so what?”_

_“That’s what I told her but she wouldn’t drop it until I talked to you.”_

_“Well you can tell her I’m fine.”_

_“Okay I will but um... I want to tell you something first.”_

_“What?”_

_ “Everyone is an island and people can’t read your mind. When things keep you up, when your brain will not shut up about something. When you are performing everyday you become more and more stuck on your island you feel like you are more alone and it’s easy to hide on their but sometimes it’s not worth it. Sometimes it’s nice to let other’s onto your island and the only way to do that is to talk to someone. Talking isn’t going to stop your island from being hard but it helps when you don’t have to perform every moment of the day. Now I have  to be going I hope everything gets better soon.”  _And then he was gone and she was alone on her island again.

 

Vilde sat on Eva’s bed watching as she cleaned her room. When Vilde had come in Eva had been trying to find the green top she loved but when she couldn’t she yelled  _“fuck it, I’m going to just clean.”_ Vilde watched as she moved around the room. 

_“I have tell you something.”_

_“What’s going on?”_

_“I met this girl and I don’t know what to do."_

_“What is going on with the girl?”_

_ “We kissed once a few months ago I was drunk and sad and then she took me home because I was to drunk to leave and she didn’t know where I lived and she let me sleep on the bed when she slept on the couch and she made me breakfast and then she gave me her number but I was too scared to call but then I did a few months after and we got coffee and I think I like her.”  _ Vilde hated crying. 

_“Hey it’s okay, it;’s okay. I’m really glad you told me.”_

_“I’m scared Eva.”_

_“That’s okay. This changes nothing. Nothing you hear me and it will change nothing with everyone else. We love you, even if you don’t just like boys.”_ Vilde fell asleep in Eva’s bed wrapped in Eva’s arms. The truth was out and she no longer had to hide from at least one person or two people if she counted Isak, somewhere in her she knew that Isak knew what had been going on with her. Or at least had an idea.

 

The next day she went home to find her mother making breakfast in the small kitchen.

“ _Hei Mamma.”_

_“Hey baby, where were you?”_

_“I was at Eva’s.”_

_“How is Eva doing?”_ Her mother had only ever met Magnus and Chris but she seemed to know about them all from when Vilde would talk to her about her day when she was down but awake. 

_“She’s doing okay. Her mother is coming back soon.”_

_“That’s nice for her. Is she is still dating that Jonas?”_

_“Yes everyone says they will be together forever.”_

_“Maybe they will be.”_

_“Can I tell you something mamma?”_

_“Of course you can tell me anything?"_

_“I think I’m bisexual.”_ It was the closest she could get to the truth. She knew Jonas would have ranted about how people using it as a way to being closer to the their truth is fine but that some people think that is all it is, is so ass backwards and a big reason of why bisexual erasure is a thing but it was the best she could do and Jonas wasn’t there.

_“Oh baby that’s okay I will love you no matter what. No matter what.”_ It felt like a dream, she felt like she was weightless. Tears were falling down her face but in this moment she didn’t mind because her mother was hugging her and everything was okay for a moment.

 

Sofie called that night and made Vilde laugh they agreed to get dinner and this time Vilde didn’t ask if was a date. 

They went to dinner and something was dinner it was this little place that Vilde was sure had not been changed since in opened in the 70’s but the food was amazing and Sofie made her laugh. 

_ “So my friend who was drunk as fuck and is running with this sausage with these three dogs running after him and he kept yelling ‘my sausage, my sausage’ but then the dogs caught him and he went down in this amazing fall that I swear I will remember for the rest of my life and so my friend Liv and I go running after the guy and he is just sitting on the ground these three dogs have left and he is just there crying about his sausage that the white pug named Oskar had stolen from him. He was fine but I don’t think he will never live it down.”  _

_*_

_ “I this friend I mean he’s really more like my ex’s friend but he asked me if I wanted to get coffee and then he tells me that everyone is an island and you need to talk to be because no one can read your mind and I was so confused and then he left to go make out with his boyfriend.”  _

_“Your ex’s friend is smart we do need to talk to people or we keep everything inside and become alone with are thoughts with no one to help us process them.”_

_*_

_ “I told my friend that I met a girl.”  _

_“I’m proud of you.”_

Vilde was happy everything felt lighter she had just gone on what had to be a date with a girl she really liked who seemed to like her and she had told Eva and her mom that she wasn’t totally straight that was all she needed for something to be off her shoulders.

Sofie walked Vilde home in the freezing night hair. Sofie smiled at her and  slid her fingers in between Vilde’s, her hands were cold almost like ice but Vilde didn’t mind because she was holding hands with a girl that she liked as more than a friend and no one was around to see she was alone with Sofie. Or as alone as you can be with the possibly of someone walking around the corner or driving down the street at any moment.

When they got to Vilde’s home Sofie stopped and smiled at her, a warm smile that seemed to shine like the sun even in the shitty light from the street light a few metres away from them. 

_“So this wasn’t just a friends thing? Right?”_

_ “No it was not just a friend thing  Vilde. I really like you.”  _

_“I like you too.”_

_“Can I kiss you?”_

_“Yes.”_ And then Sofie leaned in, it was not their first kiss but it was the first kiss that Vilde knew she would truly remember  of theirs.  It was cold their faces and lips chilled from the night air. And it was soft not like the normal kisses Vilde shared with girls that were messy and just a way of having fun and if Noora was there a way of showing themselves off to guys that fetishized women loving women because of porn and the patriarchy. This kiss was soft and sweet, like Sofie was afraid of breaking Vilde or maybe Vilde was afraid of breaking Sofie. 

When they broke apart the world was not moving under Vilde’s feet everything was still and Sofie let out a little giggle.  _ “You’re perfect Vilde.” _

_“Even if I put my foot in my mouth?”_

_“Even then.”_

 

The dates kept happening and at some point Vilde was saying no to going to one of Eva’s parties something she had never down before.  _“I just have plans.”_ And she did  Sofie and her had planned on going to the National Gallery of Norway, Sofie wanted to show Vilde her favourite painting by Claude Monet named Spring by the Seine. 

_“_ _You always have plans.”_

_“I know I’m sorry.”_

_“B_ _ut are you free after your plans?”_ Vilde nodded she had wanted to keep the evening open so she could go back to Sofie’s apartment and make out but she knew that she needed to think about her friends she would not be like Noora and forget about them when someone showed interest in her. 

Sofie and her went to the gallery. Sofie showed her all her favourite paintings the ones that meant something to her or to the world and Vilde listened because maybe she didn’t really care about art but Sofie cared and she looked happy when she talked about it and that was enough for Vilde to be interested in what Sofie was saying.  _“I never knew why I liked this painting until one day I realized it’s because it makes me happy and sad.”_

When they  were done walking through the rooms looking at the paintings Vilde asks what she had tried not to think about all day. Asking Sofie if she wants to meet her friends.  _“Sofie I was wondering if you wanted to go to this party with me all my friends will be there and you don’t have to I just would like you to met them but if I party doesn’t work we can met them another time.”_

_“Hey I would love to met your friends however you want. Whenever you want.”_ They didn’t kiss because Vilde never wanted to kiss in public, kissing in public was to much for her to handle now. One day she wanted to be like Isak and Even who make out anywhere and everywhere but she still needed time. 

The party was in full swing when they got there and they were greeted by Jonas and Eva making out beside the door. Vilde dropped her eyes to the ground, she pulled Sofie passed them into the thick of the party. Vilde went to Sana who seemed to be talking to Even. 

_“_ _No Sana_ _Star Wars are amazing movies.”_

_ “Please you’re just saying that because you feel like you have to because you are studying film deep down you don’t like those movies either. They don’t have any interesting female characters and you hate that.”  _

_“What about Leia?”_

_“She has her moments but in the long run she still always picks Han Solo over working to take Darth Vader down.”_

_“But that’s because she loves him.”_

_“Well she should have put taking down the empire over one man.”_

_“Next you’re going to tell me that Indiana Jones is a terrible movie.”_

_“Oh no Harrison Ford is a badass.”_ Even threw his hands up in the air with a smile plastered across his face. He seemed to be having the time of his life if you asked either Vilde or Sofie. 

_“_ _Hei guys.”_ Even and Sana both looked over smiling at them. Sana’s dimples were on full display and Vilde got reminded of how pretty Sana really is not that she needed that much reminding. 

_“_ _Vilde! Who’s this?”_

_ “Oh um this is  Sofie. Sofie this is Even and she is Sana. Even, Sana this is Sofie.”  _

_“It’s very nice to met you.”_ Sana’s smile was warm. Sofie felt like she had just won the lottery. Suddenly Eva showed up pulling Isak behind her. He looked annoyed, she looked drunk. 

_“_ _Vilde you made it! I was so worried you would miss it.”_ She wrapped her arms around Isak who seemed to be both annoyed with Eva and looking at her foldly. Vilde wondered if she was wasted around Isak if he would look at her like that. Probably not.  _“_ _Oh who is this?”_

_ “This is Sofie. Sofie that is Eva and the one holding her up is Isak.”  _

_“_ _Oh is this the girl you have-”_ Isak cut her off.

_ “Is that all I am to you ‘the one holding her up’ I’m hurt by you  Vilde. And nice to met you Sofie.” _ Isak shook Sofie’s hand well still holding Eva up on some level all of them were impressed with him for that. 

_“_ _Where is Jonas?”_ Even was asking Isak and Vilde realized she was no longer the focus she was glad. 

_“_ _He is with Mikael I think they finally figured out the best way to record Jonas when he skateboards. Mutta and Adam are also here somewhere I saw them earlier.”  _

_“I’’m going to go find Mikael.”_ Even left after kissing Isak cheek and saying goodbye to everyone.

 

_“_ _Do you want to dance?”_ It was Sofie she whispered it into Vilde ear and she nodded. They ended up wrapped together on the dance floor it was nice they didn’t kiss but they were almost kissing most of the time and that was a step closer for Vilde and she was okay with baby-steps if she got to take them with Sofie and the rest of the people around her. 


	2. Telling Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilde takes a few steps forward so does Noora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to have this done like three weeks ago but hey life so whatever it's written now. 
> 
> Content Warning:  
> Internalized homophobia   
> Swearing

Magnus had missed Eva’s last party he had a shit ton of work to do for one of his courses. So he had sat alone reading about mathematical theories that should have interested him but he knew he was missing out hanging out with his friends and well his friends were always more interesting than his textbooks.

It was the morning after the party and he had woken up with a pain in his neck and drool on Srinivasa Ramanujan’s contributions to the number theory. He had woken up to a light knock on his dorm room's door. The clock said 9:14 he wondered how it could be, he was in a single room and no one he spends time with would be at his room this early.

He stood from the very hard chair and moved the few steps to the door when he opened it there stood Vilde wearing a pink dress and what looked to be a leather jacket.  _ “Halla” _ she was nervous, he was suddenly nervous, it felt wrong to be here with her.

_ “Hei come in.” _ It was all he could think to say. I mean what do you say when your ex-girlfriend shows up at your door in the morning. Magnus had no fucking clue. She sat in the chair he had just left and he sat down on the bed watching as she pulled the leather jacket closer around her like she was cool.

_ “I have to tell you something I feel like you should hear this from me.” _

__ _ “Is everything okay?” _

__ _ “Yeah, it’s just um.. I have started dating this person.. And well her name is Sofie. I feel like you should hear that from me.” _

__ _ “Are.. Are you a lesbian?” _

__ _ “Nei! Nei! I mean maybe I don’t know. I’m sorry Magnus.” _

__ _ “Isak did always tell me that I would turn girls off dick I just didn’t think he was right.” _

__ _ “I’m sorry.” _

__ _ “You don’t need to say sorry Villy. Are you happy?” _

__ _ “Yes.” _

__ _ “Then I am happy for you. I just have one question I just need to know.” _

__ _ “Okay?” _

__ _ “Did you love me? Like it wasn’t fake.” _

__ _ “Nei! Nei! Nei! I never faked what I felt for you. I.. I loved you. I still love you in a way, you will always be my first love.” _

__ _ “Okay.”  _ They sat there waiting for something to happen, for one of them to do something. Vilde played with the sleeves of the jacket, Magnus noticed that it didn’t fit her quite right but for some reason, she seemed to be very much at home in it. Magnus looked at her again truly looked at her and he saw something that he never realized was missing from her a single spark that she had never seen before. A spark of freedom from the fear that always had held her tight when they were together.

  
  
  
  
  


I told Magnus that I am seeing a girl

i’m so proud of you girl

he asked me if I ever loved him

What did he say?

Did you love him?

Yeah I loved him he made me feel safe

I want to tell them

I don’t know how

Will you be there with me

ofc if you want me

  
  


Vilde didn’t tell them that day instead she went to Sofie’s little apartment and curled into her on Sofie’s bed. The leather jacket that she had stolen from Sofie hanging up by the door. Vilde was lying on her front with Sofie lying on her side facing as played with the hair that kept falling in Vilde’s face. It was quiet and the room was bathed in a green glow from the curtains.

_ “Would you still like me if I never told them?” _

__ _ “Do you want to tell them?” _

__ _ “Yes but I don’t know if I can. Would you think I was a coward?” _

__ _ “Coming out isn’t about being a coward it’s about more than just bravery.” _

__ _ “But if I want to tell them and I’m too scared, isn’t that cowardice.” _

__ _ “Did you know that if you google the definition of coming the first definition is  _ ‘due to happen or just beginning’ _ and I like that, I like to think about it as just the beginning.” _

__ _ “How does this have anything to do with being a coward?” _

__ _ “You are right if you never tell anyone more you may be a coward.” _

__ _ “I thought you were supposed to tell me that I am not a coward and comfort me.” _

__ _ “Did you know the word coward comes from the Latin word cauda which means tail?” _

__ _ “You know Latin?” _

__ _ “A little. Also I not going to just say what you want to hear that’s not how this is going to work but I also don’t think you would be a coward. I think if you never told another soul if your mother, Eva, Magnus were it; if you never told anyone anything more about your life you would not be a coward because I know four people if you count me isn’t that much but it still matters You are still brave.” _

__ _ “Do you really think it will be the beginning when I tell them?” _

__ _ “I think the beginning as already started and we are almost on the fifth page of the chapter.” _

__ _ “Do you know any other Latin?” _

__ _ “Tu es pulchra.” _

__ _ “What does that mean?” _

__ _ “I can’t tell you, you’re going to have to figure it out beautiful.” _

__ _ “That’s mean.”  _ Vilde had smiled, pulling Sofie closer to her on the small bed. She had stayed there that night wrapped up in Sofie in the little world held within the small apartment.

 

Sana and Chris sat together in a Kaffebrenneriet, Sana’s apple and cinnamon tea and Chris’ dark black coffee steaming in front them. The Kaffebrenneriet is busy with people sitting around drinking their coffee, chatting, and studying. Sana slowly spun her spoon around her cup staring out the window. 

_ “Sana do you think Vilde is acting weird? I asked her if she wanted to hang out yesterday and she told me she was busy and it’s not the first time she’s been blowing me off for a few months. I’m worried about her what if something has happened?”  _

__ _ “Yeah she has acted a little weird but I’m sure when she is ready she will talk to us. You know how Vilde is she doesn’t like to talk about shit.” _

__ _ “I’m just worried because she and Magnus have broken up and she talked to him. What if she doesn’t have anyone anymore?”  _

__ _ “I know I worry about it too. We just have to hope that she talks to us and ask it if she keeps acting weird.”  _

__ _ “I guess.”  _

Vilde didn’t talk to them for another month she told Sofie that  _ “just need time to get to used to the idea of them knowing this big thing about me.”  _ But within that month Sofie and Eva had met a few more times when Eva was less drunk and Vilde was so happy that they got along so well. One very cold day in February Eva invited everyone over to her house. 

They all sat around in Eva’s room. Chris talked about how Elias’ friend Mutta had finally asked her out. Noora talked about how she had gone out with Eskild and he had sex in the bathroom with some guy. Sana talked about how she had gone over to Isak and Even’s and had somehow walked in on the middle of sex. 

Vilde knew it was time to tell them but she was not sure how to start it off. Everyone had gone quiet they were all just sitting in peace. Vilde fiddled with her fingers staring at the wall in front of her. Eva was watching her from across the room. 

_ “Ummm… I need to tell you guys something.”  _

__ _ “Are you okay?”  _

__ _ “I’m fine Sana I just need to tell you that I am dating someone new.”  _

__ _ “Why didn’t you tell us? Is he hot?”  _

__ _ “She’s hot.”  _

They were silent for a moment. Chris’ mouth was hanging out. Sana looked like her normal self she was watching Vilde and how she is looking down at her lap. Noora just stared at Vilde like she had lost her mind. Eva was staring at her with pride she was the first to move, she got up and sat down beside Vilde wrapping her arms around her. 

_ “You’re a lesbian?”  _

__ Vilde wished she could have disappeared in that moment. 

_     “I don’t know I just like her Noora.”  _

_     “Well, I am happy for you Vilde what is her name?”  _

_     “Um… you have met her Sana. Sofie, she was at Eva’s party last month.”  _

_     “Fucking hell she was hot.”  _

    Vilde smiled at Chris. Chris got up and jumped at her wrapping her in a hug. Sana followed after Chris and a few moments later hugging all three of them. Noora is the last to join them she seemed more nervous than the rest of them. Vilde tried to ignore it. 

 

Vilde knocked on the kollektivet door. She had told Sofie how Noora had reacted and Sofie had told her that maybe she should talk to her so she had decided after a lot of thought to talk to her. She was tired of hiding and letting everything go. 

_ “Vildeeee! Are you here to see Noora?”  _

__ _ “Yeah is she home?”  _

__ _ “Yes, she is, come on in.”  _

__ Vilde smiled at Eskild walking into the apartment giving Eskild a hug before she left him standing by the door. 

_ “Noora?”  _

__ _ “Vilde what are you doing here?”  _

__ _ “I wanted to talk about how you reacted when I told you about Sofie.”  _

__ _ “Did I react weirdly?”  _

__ _ “Yeah, you reacted weirdly.”  _

__ _ “Well, I’m sorry if I did I didn’t mean to.”  _

__ _ “You have also been acting weird around me. I just want to know you have a problem with me or something?”  _

__ _ “I promise I don’t have a problem with you Vilde. I guess it just kind of shocked me.”  _

__ _ “Why?” _

__ _ “I just didn’t think you would be dating a girl. It’s just weird to know that you’re gay.”  _

__ _ “I don’t know if I am gay. I am just dating a girl.”  _

__ _ “Did you ever have feelings for Magnus?”  _

__ _ “I love Magnus I will always love Magnus.”  _

__ _ “But did he like make you turned on?”  _

__ _ “Sometimes. Sometimes I liked having sex with him it was nice he was nice but then other times it was just uncomfortable. Sometimes I had sex with him because I felt like I needed to and not because I really, really wanted to.”  _

__ _ “What about with Sofie?”  _

__ _ “Sex with Sofie is different it just feels different.”  _

__ _ “I never liked having sex with William.”  _

__ _ “Oh, that’s okay. I met this girl who doesn’t like having things inside her. She likes sex just not that kind of sex. Maybe that’s what was happening with you.”  _

__ _ “I’m just scared that I am going to be a lesbian.”  _

__ _ “Why are you scared of being a lesbian?”  _ Noora had started crying and Vilde was a little lost with what to do.

_ “I just can’t be Vilde.”  _

__ _ “Okay, you may not be a lesbian Noora. But if you are it will be okay.”  _

 

Vilde walked to Sofie’s house in a gaze. She was confused and a little lost on what to do with what Noora had said. She knocked on Sofie’s door, Sofie opened it wearing a pink flowery apron and holding a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough. Sofie smiled, greeting her and pulling her into a light kiss. 

_     “Do you want some cookies?” _

    Vilde nodded walking into the apartment after Sofie stealing some cookie dough from the bowl.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tu es pulchra means you are beautiful


	3. Godzilla

Today was a good day or at least it should have been a good day if Vilde mind was not stuck thinking about what Noora had said to her. She wanted to talk to someone about it but she couldn't because that would out Noora and she knew that should not do that especially after Eva had had a long conversation with her about the effects of outing people so she knew she could not do that. She was a little lost and it was wrecking her day. A day that could have been great because her mother was feeling better. She had gotten out of bed, showered, dressed, and when Vilde got up she was making waffles in the kitchen.

    Vilde knew that it might not last and she may be back in bed by tomorrow but today was good and she didn’t want to waste the time she would get with her mother.

_“Hey Mamma, how are you feeling?”_

_“Really good, I made you waffles.”_

_“Takk Mamma.”_

They sat in silence well they ate and then when they finished they both sat down on the small couch and Therese picked up the TV remote flipping through channels, faces flashing across the screen voices getting cut off in middle sentences. Vilde had always told her friends that they did this all the time that they always talked and spend time together but really it was once in a blue in the moon event.

_“Tell me what is going on with you honey?”_

_“Um, I have been dating this person.”_

_“What is their name?”_

_“Sofie Fredriksen.”_

_“How did you met her?”_

_“I got really drunk and she took care of me.”_

_“You know that is how I met your father in a bar.”_

_“Really? I didn’t know that.”_ If Vilde was honest with herself more often she would have said that she didn’t know anything about her father. All she knew was that she shared DNA with him.

_“I’m sorry that you never got to met him Vilde.”_

_“It’s okay. I have you.”_

_“I am not the best mother. I let you take on too much. You look after me more than I look after you that’s not how it is supposed to work.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_“It’s not okay Vilde.”_

_"Okay maybe sometimes it’s not but we can’t-do anything about it. And you do take care of me we take care of each other. It’s all I can ask from you.” Therese was crying and Vilde was close to crying. Vilde reached out and wiped the tears that were falling down her mother’s face. “Let’s talk about something else okay? It’s too early in the morning to be crying?”_

_“Okay, why don’t you tell me more about Sofie?”_

_“She wants to be an artist and she is amazing Mamma you should see some of her paintings. There is this one of her little sister and she is sitting in a field of flower and it looks like a photograph.”_

_“Could I meet her someday?”_ If you had told Vilde when she was sixteen years old that she would be talking to her mother about her girlfriend she would have told them they were fucking crazy and to leave her alone because she was straight. But there Vilde was sitting with her mother talking about her girlfriend and her mother wanted to meet her. Vilde could not fight off her smile.

_“I would love for you to met her Mamma.”_

_“When do you think would be best for her?”_

_“What about tonight? Sofie told me she didn’t have plans for tonight.”_

_“That soon?”_

_“Well you’re feeling well and why not? I want you to meet her.”_

_“Okay. Okay, you call her and I will see what I can make for dinner.”_

    Vilde got up from the couch, she walked into her room pulling her phone from her back pocket and she sat down on her bed opening her phone and calling Sofie. The phone rang twice before Sofie picked it up with a half-distracted halla.

    _“Hi. You’re not in the middle of something?”_

_“Well I was but you are more important than my paper on Impressionism well actually that may not be true I need this paper to pass my class and I need that class to eventually graduate. But you are also important so why are you calling pulchra?”_

_“Are you ever going to tell me what that means?”_

_“You could just google it if you really want to know.”_

_“But then that would wreck it.”_

_“I can just not please you, can I?”_

_“Nope.”_

_“You never told me why you were calling?”_

_“Oh well… My mother was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I really want you to come.”_

_“I would love to have dinner with you and your mother. What time?”_

_“15:30 we’ll have dinner at like 16.”_

_“See you then pulchra.”_

    Vilde hung her phone up. Falling back onto her bed holding her phone to her chest a large smile breaking across her face. Her girlfriend was about to meet her mother and she was so fucking happy about it.

 

* * *

 

Vilde was nervous but a good kind of nervous. An excited kind of nervous. She was sitting at the kitchen table watching as her mother looked through the cabinets to find something to have for dinner.

    _“What about Lapskaus I think we have everything?”_

_“Perfect darling. I am really glad that you went shopping yesterday.”_

_“Perfect timing on my part I guess.”_

    They cooked quietly together, chopping and boiling. Vilde liked when she could cook with her mother. Her mother had begun training to be a chef when she had gotten pregnant with Vilde. Her parents had told her that if she wracked her life with having this child they would having nothing to do with it. She had kept Vilde and never talked to her parents since.

 

* * *

 

Vilde heard a knock on the door. She opened the door to see Sofie standing there with her blonde hair carefully pulled into two ponytails and a light pink dress flowing around her. Vilde was a little starstruck Sofie was always beautiful to her but normally dressed in t-shirts and paint covered jeans.

    _“Hi.”_ Vilde was pretty sure she was blushing.

_“Hey pulchra.”_

_“Aren’t you going to invite her in Vilde or are we going to wait all night!”_

_“Right, right come in.”_ Sofie laughed, walking in after kissing Vilde’s cheek. Vilde closed the door with a terrible blush burning across her cheeks.

 

 

When Sofie had shown up at Vilde door she had not known what to expect with having dinner with her girlfriend’s mother. She had never done it before, met the parents her relationship never lasted long enough for it to be important. But when she got there all the anxiety washed away it was easy being in this house.

    Sofie liked Therese she smiled and told stories of when Vilde was younger.

   _“When Vilde was maybe four years old she had this imaginary friend named Britta and she did normal imaginary friends with it she always made me sit another place at the table and she always had to tuck both of them in when she went to bed. And then one day when Britta had been around for maybe a year I picked up Vilde from her daycare and we’re walking home and I ask where Britta is because she hasn’t talked to her for about her or to her in a while and then she turns to me totally straight-faced and says ‘Britta died’ and then she never said anything about Britta again.”_

    Everyone laughed well Vilde rolled her eyes and looked down at the table. Sofie watched Vilde and Therese watched Sofie a small smile playing on her lips.

 

* * *

 

Vilde sat on her unmade bed as Sofie slowly walked around the room reading the titles.

   _“You have to Norwegian and the English versions of Harry Potter?”_

_“Yeah. I read the Norwegian ones first and then Chris got me the whole series in English for my birthday a few years ago.”_

_“That was nice of her.”_

_“Yeah, she’s like that.”_ Sofie sat down on the bed beside Vilde, her hand tucking a loose piece of hair behind Vilde’s ear. She leaned in pressing her lips against hers. It was soft and until it wasn’t and Vilde was getting pushed into the mattress her arms pinned above her head. Sofie ran her free hand down Vilde’s side, pulling her leg up so that it wrapped around Sofie’s waist pulling her closer. Sofie pulled back from Vilde she looked down her eyes moved over Vilde’s body.

_“You're so beautiful Vilde.”_

    Vilde was pretty sure that her cheeks turned an even darker red. Her eyes flicked down trying to avoid eye contact with Sofie.

    _“No Vilde look at me.”_ Sofie let go of her hand that she was still pinning above her head. Pushing her chin up so that she had to met Sofie’s eyes. _“You. Are. Beautiful. Vilde.”_ Vilde lifted her head up and placed a gentle on Sofie’s lips.

    Sofie smiled and rolled over so that she was lying beside Vilde. They lay there is quietly for a few moments before Vilde broke the silence.

_“Can I ask you something, Sofie?”_

_"Sure.”_

_“I have this friend and when I told her about you she acted weird and when I went to talk to her she told me that she never liked having sex with her ex-boyfriend and that she was scared of being a lesbian. But like her roommate is gay and her old roommate was gay. I don’t get why she can be okay with them but not okay with me or why she is so terrified of being a lesbian?” `_

_"Well I think sometimes there can be a disconnect between genders. And I know that gender is fake but it still holds a lot of pull with people so your friend probably has a disconnect between someone who is male and gay and someone who is female and gay.”_

_“So she is okay with gay guys but not with lesbians?”_

_“It’s probably deeper than that. As she ever said anything that sounds like she is not okay with lesbians?”_

_“There was this time when she woke up naked in a bed with a girl and she was really scared that she had sex with her. She didn’t.”_

_“Was she drunk?”_

_“Yeah, and she didn’t remember anything.”_

_"When you’re drunk you might do something you are not going to do when you are sober.”_

_“Do you think she is a lesbian?”_

_“I don’t know. She probably doesn’t even know. I think the only thing you can do is be there for her.”_

_“I guess.”_

    Sofie ran her thumb over Vilde’s cheek. _“This conversation is sad. I want to dance.”_ Sofie climbed out of the bed pulling out her phone slipping through her music.

 

What do you get when you take Godzilla to the mall?

He scares all the children and shreds all the pillows

And knocks over walls

HIs emerald eyes, they sparkle and shine

As he eats the food court and steals half my fries

That’s what you get when you take Godzilla to the mall

 

 _“What the fuck?”_ Sofie pulled Vilde up from the bed she wrapped her arms around Vilde making her sway to the music.

    _“It’s Kesha. Just dance with me.”_

 _“Okay.”_ The next song started playing and Sofie pulled Vilde closer

 

Oh your lips are only inches from mine

As you talk ‘bout the life you’ve been leading

And I can’t turn away from, turn away from you

I wanna feel what you feel when you feel it

 

    _“Vilde?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I love you.”_ Vilde looked up a smile breaking across her face.

 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the songs all belong to their respective owners 
> 
> Godzilla - Kesha   
> Skeletons - W. Darling


	4. Breathe With Me Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning:   
> Panic attacks   
> Homophobia (from a parent)   
> Alcoholism  
> Abuse   
> Eating Disorder (real brief)   
> Mental Illness   
> Swearing (but not that much
> 
> I hope I haven't left anything out. If I have please tell me.

Vilde was asleep when her phone rang it was only 20.34 but she had woken up early for a class for the last two days and she was tired but the ringing woke her with a start. A photo of Sofie popped up on her screen. Vilde yawned and picked up her phone.

_“Halla.”_

_“Vilde?”_ Sofie sounded like she was crying.

_“Sofie are you okay?”_

_“Can you come over?”_

_“I’m coming.”_

            Vilde got out of her bed pulling her shoes on as she opens her door. She ran out of the house and to the tram she had to wait for the tram she could hear Sofie’s breathing getting quicker and quicker over the phone.

            _“Breathe with me baby. In, out, in, out.”_

_“Vilde?”_

_“I’m coming Sofie.”_

            The tram ride was the longest of her life. The only other person on the tram was an older woman with long white hair that framed her face, she was dressed in all white Vilde thought she looked like a ghost. Vilde tried to ignore her as she talked to Sofie on the phone. It wasn’t really talking, it was more Vilde listening to Sofie starting to breath faster and faster she couldn’t form word by the end of the ride. When it stopped Vilde jumped and ran as fast as she could to Sofie’s small apartment hoping that it was unlocked.

            The door was unlocked and Vilde rushed in. The apartment was too quiet. Vilde stopped and looked around Sofie’s apartment. Sofie’s cat Dizzee was sitting on the bed like he was guarding something. Vilde carefully walked towards him he hissed at her as she passed to get to the far side of the bed. There was Sofie sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up her chest. Vilde was pretty sure she wasn’t breathing. Vilde dropped to her knees in front of Vilde.

_“Hey, hey Sofie. Can I touch you?”_

            Sofie nodded and Vilde wrapped her arms around Sofie pulling her down so that they were both lying on the floor with Sofie’s ear resting against Vilde’s heart.

_“Breath with me baby.”_

            Vilde slowly breathed in and out, Sofie was still taking gasping breaths. Her hands were grasping onto Vilde with a tight grip. Sofie breathing slowly calmed down, she had started crying which was making it worse. Vilde could feel the tears form a wet spot on her shirt.

_“That’s it. Keep breathing with me.”_

            They lay there even after Sofie’s breathing at normalized. Vilde didn’t talk she just stayed with Sofie half draped over her. She thought Sofie had fallen asleep until Sofie slowly sat up curling back up with her back against the bed. Vilde sat up and faced Sofie.

_“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called.”_ Sofie kept her eyes on the floor.

_“I’m glad you did.”_

            Sofie looked up quickly and then but down at the ground. _“I just didn’t want you to see me like this.”_

_“Having a panic attack?”_

_“It’s just so embarrassing. I hate them.”_

_“Sofie we have been together for almost eight months having a panic attack shouldn’t be embarrassing.”_

_“But it is. It makes me feel so weak and pathetic. I hate them.”_

_“What caused did? You don’t have to answer.”_

_“I got a call from my mother.”_ Vilde had never heard Sofie talk about her mother. Vilde had met her father and he was a good natured middle-aged man that liked to make dad jokes. But Sofie had never brought up her mother and Vilde knew not to ask people about their parents if they didn’t bring it up.

_“My mother is a bitch.”_

_“Okay.”_ They fell silent. Dizzee walked up laying in front of Sofie so that she could pet him.

_“Do you want to go to bed or do you want to do something else maybe watch a shitty movie?”_

_“Can we watch a movie?”_

_“Something shitty?”_

_“Something shitty.”_

            Vilde stood up helping Sofie up after her. Vilde lay down on the couch and Sofie lay on top of her again. Vilde put on The 40 Year-Old Virgin. Vilde runs her arms through Sofie’s hair well the movie plays in the background.

 

 

 

Sofie woke up on the couch with Vilde’s arms around her. Sofie felt hungover and everything hurt. But Vilde was warm and Dizzee was sitting on the coffee table watching them. Sofie thought back to what had happened last night everything was a little blurry in her mind.

            _“Sofie?”_ She sounded half asleep. _“You okay?”_

_“Yeah baby.”_

            Sofie pulled herself up from lying on top of Vilde, getting up from the couch and walking into the kitchen. Vilde got up and followed her wrapping her arms around her when Sofie stopped in front of the counter pulling a bag of coffee out of the cabinet.

_“Want some?”_

_“Sure Sofie.”_

            They stood there in silence well Sofie slowly made the coffee. Vilde softly kissed the back of Sofie’s neck. The both quietly drank their coffee together in the kitchen. After they finished their coffee Sofie changed into a pair of black sweat pants and a oversized light pink hoodie. Vilde followed Sofie into her bedroom curling up with her on the bed.

_“I guess you want to know what happened?”_

_“Only if you want to tell me.”_

_“My mother doesn’t like that I like girls. She wishes that I would just forget about it and start dating some normal guy and pop out a few grandkids that she can buy ice cream for. She was brought up with traditional views and she has all these ultra traditional ideas. That girls should marry boys and that girls must be perfect and like the colour pink and there are only two genders and she wants me to have the same ideas. And I don’t. And she hates it.”_

_“Is it religion?”_

_“No. Her mother is but she grew away from it as a child. I remember over hearing her talk to my father about how when she was little she would pray to God that her father would come back but he never did and she couldn’t believe after that.”_

_“Her father left?_

_“She has this really fucking depressing childhood. Her father was a heavy drinker and well he left when she was five. She had two younger siblings and her mother well she developed depression when her husband left her. I have the idea that he left her for someone prettier in his eyes. And then when her mother started to get out of bed again she went partying every night and stopped eating. That’s were she met her second husband because a woman needs to be married or else. And well he liked to hit people. Her mother had a kid with him and then he left. And my grandmother was alone again and my mother was taking care of her siblings again. And then there was the man in the army and he had PTSD and a drinking problem. And well that ended and my grandmother met her fourth husband who killed himself. They had a kid together as well. And then she was alone for a while but ‘women can’t be alone in this world they need a man’ so she married a man that turned out to be abusive. And well I don’t know if they are still together at this point it’s been off and on for years and my mother was there for all of it.”_

_“That’s awful.”_

_“So, when my mother married my father she didn’t want that to happen. She told me once that she wanted to have a lot of kids and that she was planning on staying with my father forever because she was not going to be her mother. But then well something went wrong when I was born and she couldn’t have any other kids.”_

_“So, she put all her hopes on you?”_

_“I guess I was her change to have this normal life away from the people that fucked her over but then she turned out to be just like them.”_

_“She as all this trauma from when she was kid that she will not deal with because she doesn’t think mental illness or mental problems are a real thing. And when I was fifteen and I started to show serious signs of depression she pretty much told me that I was lying and that I was just lazy.”_ Vilde pulled Sofie closes when she said that. A few tears had fallen from Vilde’s eyes. Sofie was stone faced like she was used to this story. Vilde guess she was used to the tragedy of it all.

            _“My parents divorced when I was seventeen. I like to think that it was my father growing a backbone because before he was just a pawn in her games. I also got my first girlfriend at seventeen I also got in to partying and drinking. She thought my girlfriend Alix was a bad influence that she was turning me gay or some shit like that.”_

_“What happened?”_

_“I left when my dad did. She calls sometimes I think it’s her checking if I’m still queer.”_

Vilde softly kissed Sofie’s forehead pulling her even closer. Sofie felt like Vilde was trying to pull her into her body.

            _“She asked if I was dating someone and I think wanted to hear that I was dating some guy but I finally told her that I was dating you and she just asked me if I wasn’t over that phase yet.”_

_“Oh Sofie.”_

_“I hung up on her.”_

_“Good.”_

_“You know what the most fucked up thing is though? I don’t hate her. I just don’t know how. Like you always hear people that have shit person say that but I just don’t know how. I feel like I should.”_

_“There is no right way of feeling Sofie.”_

_“Can we talk about something else? I can’t anymore.”_

_“Okay, what do you want to talk about?”_

_“Tell me about your friends.”_

_“Well I don’t think I ever told you think but in third year I was at some party can’t remember who’s and well Magnus and I were going up stairs to have fun.”_ Sofie pulled a face at the idea of Magnus and Vilde having ‘fun’, Vilde laughed.

            _“Anyway! We are up stairs and we find the first bedroom and well I hear noises up Magnus does not so before I can stop him he opens the door and well Eva and Jonas were pretty much in the middle of sex. Jonas notices and well all he does is scream ‘not fucking again’ Magnus and I quickly leave. And the next day saw Eva and said sorry about the whole thing it was very awkward. But you know me so I asked her about what Jonas had meant when he had said again. Apparently Isak had walked in on them as well in first year and she said in won walking in on people because well he was walking away he started singing Lonely by Akon.”_

_“How many times have you guys walked in on each other having sex?”_

_“A lot actually. I don’t know why. Jonas once walked in on Even giving Isak a blow job and I don’t think he’s been the same since.”_

Sofie started laughing throwing her head back against the pillows. Vilde also started laughing. After a few minutes Sofie had calmed down and was staring up at the ceiling, a small smile still playing across her lips. Vilde watched her, a smile also playing across her lips.

            _“Thanks, Vilde.”_

_“Always, Sofie.”_

            They lay there for the rest of the day Vilde telling little stories and Sofie smiling and feeling. Sofie feel asleep before Vilde and Vilde watched her for a few hours to make sure she was okay before falling asleep as well. Wrapped up in Sofie and the warmth of green blankets.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at http://redlinescrossing.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it please leave kudos and leave your comments I really want to hear what you think. 
> 
> All my mistakes are mine and I am sure there are many.


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